Rules And Protocols Handbook for the Naked Houseboy

Primary Rule - Smoking and Vaping

Smoking or vaping of cigarettes, pipes, cigars, e-cigarettes and any other substance is prohibited inside Master’s home, garage and outbuildings, and is also prohibited outdoors on Master’s property in the pool and yard and all other areas except as noted below. The smoking prohibition applies equally to the House Boy and all visitors without exception. For guests who smoke, a Designated Smoking Area (See below, Rule #94) is provided at the rear corner of the property with a table and ash tray for butts, and has limited seating for the other type of butts.

The House Boy is permitted to access and use the Designated Smoking Area on his free or recreational time, unless he is directed not to do so. Any attempt by a House Boy to improperly smoke or vape in Master’s home is a Level Three Insubordination, and consistent or repeated violations of this nature will lead to Level Four Dismissal. Any smoking or vaping by a House Boy while outdoors on Master’s property but not within the Designated Smoking Area is a progressive offense with a fixed minimum penalty of ten swats plus temporary forfeiture of access to smoking materials for the remainder of the calendar week. Continued violations or any attempt at smoking or vaping which endangers the safety of any person may bring discipline up to and including Level Four Dismissal with immediate escort to the property line.

In the example photo a House Boy fires up a cigarette late at night in bed, intentionally breaking the Smoking and Vaping protocol and endangering the lives of anyone present including himself. If the House Boy falls asleep with the lit cigarette, it could start a fire with tragic results. Violations like smoking in bed or while Fueling Vehicles (See below, Rule #129) are particularly egregious and render a House Boy unsuitable for service. If Master awakens and observes the lit cigarette in bed, the House Boy may be immediately escorted to the property line and dismissed from service. Had the House Boy snuck outside for a quick puff or two it would still draw immediate discipline, but at least safety wouldn’t be compromised and Master could have administered the requisite punishment knowing that the House Boy didn’t allow his thoughtless craving for nicotine to overwhelm consideration for Master’s safety and property.

The House Boy is responsible for using good judgement in notifying visitors of the Smoking and Vaping rule when appropriate, and doing so in a firm yet respectful manner. It is not a violation for a House Boy who smokes to lead a first-time or infrequent guest to the Designated Smoking Area and to join the visitor for a few quick puffs before returning to his assigned duties and chores. In inclement weather worse than a warm and light rain, the House Boy should ask Master to designate an alternate place for guests to smoke, like the garage or workshop out back.

Protocol for Smoking and Vaping requires House Boy nudity during this activity, except when off property and smoking with others who are clothed while smoking. A House Boy who wishes to be a solo smoker when traveling with Master away from home must not only be granted the standard permission to smoke, but is also required to completely undress before lighting up and to remain naked for the duration of his approved smoke break. While the Paramount Rule allows any House Boy to refuse any requirement to undress where nudity isn’t allowed, a House Boy who voluntarily undresses just to smoke does so by choice — since he isn’t required to smoke — and he is solely responsible for the consequences of his nudity. Master recommends that House Boys who smoke wait to ask for permission until they are someplace where there is another smoker who is clothed, or at a more discreet or isolated outdoor location where the House Boy’s choice to strip isn’t likely to be seen or to offend others. 

When visiting the homes of Master’s friends, the House Boy will be told when and where and under what conditions smoking or vaping is permitted. The House Boy will never ask to ‘borrow’ or otherwise be gifted a cigarette from anyone else under any circumstances. House Boys who smoke or vape are responsible for stowing their smoking materials in the vehicle before all travels, or to ask for and receive permission to purchase supplies along the way.  

(Rule #93)

Some Related Links...

Rule #94 — Designated Smoking Area

Rule #129 — Fueling Vehicles

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