Rules And Protocols Handbook for the Naked Houseboy

Health and Safety — Expired Milk and Dairy Products

The House Boy is responsible for regularly monitoring the expiration date of all packaged or bottled items in the refrigerator and for discarding expired products. This includes those with a ‘Sell By’ date, which should be assumed to allow the product an additional seven days for use after it is purchased. When the House Boy is uncertain how to determine product dating or whether an item should be discarded, it is his responsibility to ask for guidelines and remember any verbal instructions for the next same or similar product or circumstance. Failure to properly monitor and discard expired products may subject the House Boy to discipline or a special trip to the store during his free time to repurchase or replace the expired item, although Master will bear the expense for such purchases.

Expired Milk and Dairy Products pose a special risk to health and must be monitored more closely, with visual checks daily for freshness dating. Discovery or use of any Expired Milk or Dairy Product by Master or a guest will subject the House Boy to a Disciplinary Milk Shower which will include the Expired Milk or Dairy Products. The special discipline applies only to discovery or use of the following products: All white or flavored milk, all fortified milks or sealed dairy milk products including shakes and muscle milk, all dairy creamers including half and half, all sour cream and cottage cheeses including those prepackaged with fruit or additives, all grated or shredded parmesan cheese, all butters and margarines and similar spreads, all yogurts and yogurt products including those with fruit or additives, all prepackaged pourable nacho type cheese toppings, and all other pourable products with milk or dairy as a primary or substantial ingredient. Exempt from special discipline are solid dairy and processed cheeses, salad dressings, single serve packets of any product, and anything clearly labeled as ‘non-dairy’.

Master recognizes the possibility that a guest may inadvertently introduce expired product into the refrigerator as an arrival gift or during home events like pot luck or weekend barbecues, and the House Boy will not be held responsible for violations which he could not reasonably prevent. The House Boy is still responsible for gifted products which he is informed of on arrival, and he is always responsible for any product which remains in the refrigerator for 24 hours or longer, since he is supposed to check for product dating daily. Due to the messy and disruptive nature of Disciplinary Milk Showers, this punishment is generally announced immediately and is then deferred until a more appropriate time.

Pursuant to these Rules And Protocols, Master has the right to reduce any and all punishments to as little as a verbal warning, except when specifically prohibited by an individual protocol. A Disciplinary Milk Shower can not be waived or reduced to a lesser punishment after a guest has actually consumed expired Milk or Dairy Products without the specific permission of that guest, and the guest has the right to safely administer the punishment if time and circumstances permit. 

During home events when two or more House Boys are on duty and an Expired Milk and Dairy Product violation occurs, Master may instruct the House Boys to compete in a Milk Fight (Rule #161) using either fresh or expired product as a non-disciplinary alternative. Eye protection will be provided on request. House Boys are subject to washing, rinsing or Spot Cleaning (See below, Rule #57) by Master or a volunteer after any Milk Fight.

Master has the right to defer any punishment under this rule until a weekend or home event, and to discard the Expired Milk And Dairy Products and use fresh replacements instead. This most commonly occurs when the violation occurs while a sensitive guest is present or the punishment would disrupt the schedule or social atmosphere at Master’s home. Punishment will not be deferred simply because a House Boy claims embarrassment at being observed by others while he is punished. It is not considered to be Unnecessarily Wasting Energy (See below, Rule #250) for a House Boy to examine refrigerator contents with the door open for a period of five minutes or less unless some other action or inaction — like opening the freezer door at the same time — causes energy use to increase significantly.

(Rule #159)

Some Related Links...

Rule #57 — Spot Cleaning

Rule #129 — Fueling Vehicles

Rule #250 — Unnecessarily Wasting Energy

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